i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize