I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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