is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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