yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
