I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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