So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
