is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
