Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize