I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
