Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
