So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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