Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
