I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
