If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
