hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
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Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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