No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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