Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
