somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost