i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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