I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
