why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize