I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
