i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Randomize
