Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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