Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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