His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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