What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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