Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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