He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
