So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
