found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
