i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would ride that face into the sunset
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
