My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
