Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
