You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
