yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
