Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
