the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
