That's intense
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
