Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize