i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
