A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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