and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
