What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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