Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
