So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
