so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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