Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
