is your mom at the bar?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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