If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
