Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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