Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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