I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
