i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
