Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
