I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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