Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize