do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize